i kinda wanted to use my blog as a panel to discuss some of the more pressing issues that face our lives at the moment. the main issues as of late is dealing with daylee's dad and grandparents. i have tried to discuss hurt feelings and different subjects and it just doesn't seem to work.
maybe i'm acting childish, or not saying or doing the right thing, but all this conflict is taking its toll.
my son, daylee has a cousin, natalya and although she is my niece by marriage i do not feel the same for her as i do for my blood nieces(lily and margot). now, i'm not saying i don't like her or that i don't care about her... it's just that i don't have the same feelings for her as i do for my own flesh and blood. i think this really bothers daylee's grandparents, and if that's how they feel fine. they are entitled to feel that way.
the real problem is how they treat both their grandchildren. favoring natalya over daylee. now i know my son is at an age where he's demanding and inquisitive about everything, he'll drive ya nuts, but that doesn't mean that he should be treated differently by said grandparents, or come to me, his mother, and say things like, "talya is mimi and pop's favorite." "mimi and pop's loves talya more."
no one has ever repeated those kind of things or hinted towards those feelings, but it breaks my heart to hear those words uttered from the mouth of a very observant three year old. i have tried to address this with daylee's dad and to no avail. he thinks i'm lying about what daylee said. i wish it were true. i wish it was a lie that i had made up. it would make it easier to deal with. i'd be a liar and they'd love d just as much as natalya, but that's not the case.
i've tried not to let this affect the relationship i have with daylee's mimi and pop, but when they don't want to see daylee or spend any time with him but they take natalya for weeks at a time, well, it stings...
as daylee's mom i want to protect him from hurt feelings and feeling unwanted in anyway but i'm not going to be less of a person and keep him from them because that's not right either.
what's a mom to do?
Oh man, that is a tough one. . . Growing up, I always knew I was not my parents favorite. My mom loved my older sister the best, my dad and everyone else loved my littlest brother the best. I never thought too much about it, because it was just the way it was (and still is). . . We actually joke about it now because everyone knows it's so true. That sounds terrible to say, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteI think as a parent (or future parent) these are good opportunities to be as truthful as possible with our kids to build trust and communication so they know we will be honest with them. The truth is that people (even grandparents) are sinful and show favoritism. But the even greater truth is that God does not ever show favoritism. He loves us unconditionally as we are, as his precious creation. And His love is not based on anything we could ever do; it simply is because of Christ's finished work on the cross. Hearing these truths over and over can soften and open young hearts to the message of the gospel. . .
If our kids learn to find their worth in Christ and not in the opinions of man from an early age, think of what it will save them in future heartache.