but of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof, thou shalt surely perish.
genesis 2:17
* i don't want to upset my sister with this(she is my other bestie) but i want to let you all know my dearest pal, aimee.
here are a few of my favorite photos from our time together over the past few years. i just love this girl!
let me tell ya: i met aimee in the 8th grade and immediately we clicked. we were always together and even though we had a fairly large circle of friends, aimee and i were best friends. we were always getting in trouble(rather, i was getting her in trouble)!! aimee was there for me the night i got the news that a close friend of mine had passed away, she held my hand and talked me through my rougher moments over the years and i can't thank God enough for such a light in my life.
aimee and i went to different high schools and lost touch and then reconnected at 22 but that was short lived due to our conflicting lives, and at the time i thought to myself that if we were meant to be friends we'd make it work. i didn't hear anything from her or about her for years until one day when i logged onto my myspace and had a request from an aimee morris, and i was thinking, "who is this girl? who is aimee morris?"(i knew aimee by her maiden name, ballard) and she was holding a baby in her profile pic.. AND she looked nothing like her former self that i remembered.
so, being the girl i am, i deleted the request and went on with my day. the next time i checked my myspace there was another request from aimee morris and i was thinking, "okay, stalker! what do you want with me?!" anyways, this time there was a message and it was my long lost childhood pal!! that night i called her and we spent hours catching up and we talked about hanging out when i was visiting az. well, the next time i made it west, i called her up and we went and got chinese food and went to her cute little condo. aimee hadn't changed a bit(besides the fact she was married and had a baby)... so we hung out and had such a good time together and since that trip back home, aimee and i have kept in touch via phone calls and visits. it sucks that we live even further away now that she's moved to washington state and i'm in texas but we try to talk on the phone at least once a week.
i just want to say that so many people change with time. they change when they grow up and start making good money or can afford bigger and better things, or they change due to their surroundings, well, aimee hasn't changed at all. not through her ups and not even when she's gone through some really difficult things in her personal life. aimee has always been such a sweet, honest, kind, caring, beautiful person. aimee isn't a back stabber, she is honest but she never makes you feel bad for messing up. aimee is a wonderful mother and she is so good with children, she has such a light and she just makes you want to be near her, just to be her friend... and i feel so lucky to call her my best friend.
right now she is going through something extremely difficult and i just hope that if you read this(even if you may not know her) that you will pray for her and her family at this time.
in previous posts by my sister and sarah, they have talked about their own "fake" family. well, here in amarillo i'm pretty much alone. i'm literally 1,000 miles from my flesh and blood, which sometimes can be so hard. at times i want to be able to hang out and go to lunch with my sister or my dad or have my grandma's shoulder to cry on. i've mentioned that i quickly made friends at my church and that my life group have become my pseudo family. i have really gotten to know them and i'm so glad that i have Godly people in my life to lean on for support and friendship.so, let me introduce you to them:
the people in the photo above are the hatfields. they are so awesome! they were recently married and are the parents of 5 kids. they have such big hearts and are so fun to be around. i just love them so much. the hatfields are: mark, lindsay, andrew, xander, noah, alisabeth and echo.
in the second photo are my very dear friends- the abramsons'. they have opened their homes and their hearts to me and daylee and they give me such good christian advice and wisdom. i love having girl time with kat and i she is like my big sister. her and her husband have been such amazing friends to me and i love them to pieces.
in the photo above: kat, jason and nick(jason's son) and in the bottom photo: kat's two boys hayden and levi.
so, these are my 3 things: place i love to shop. this was pretty difficult because i get random stuff everywhere and it's hard to narrow it down to three but i did. let me walk you through them...
first i chose target(i know, target of all places), but i find some good stuff there(including clothes). i don't buy too many clothing items there but sometimes they have really affordable, nice things to wear. i especially like their kids clothing. i can always find deals on stuff for daylee and seth.
next, you'll see an odd picture of an old man. for those of you who do not know who this is... well, shame, shame!!! this is sailor "jerry"(actually, his real name is norman collins). that's besides the point, but for those of you who know and love me know that i love, love, love sailor jerry everything. from his classic tattoos to his clothing and accessory line. the clothing line is ridiculously expensive but i've been known to splurge on occasion. i love his tees and sweaters and i especially love his bags. i constantly look at the website to see if they are having any specials or sales but usually they're not... boo.
lastly, just like my baby sister, i love forever 21. i can always, always find cute clothing, from jeans to dresses and it's crazy cheap. sadly, amarillo has not caught on and does not have a forever. the nearest one is in lubbock(about an hour and a half away), so when i make the trip home i have to shop at forever with joanna. this last trip home was a total score for clothing! i found jeans and shirts and sweaters. i was a very happy jamie, let me tell ya.
one more that i didn't post a pic of is thrift stores. i can always find funky, vintage pieces and since high school i have rocked thrift stores. who can beat a 70's banana leisure suit?! hmm???
i'm so glad i played again and i can't wait for next weeks 3 things...
okay, raise your hands if you saw the second episode of teen mom 2? anyone? damn!!!! another explosive episode.
i felt horrible for what leah is going through with the probability that her baby, ali has major spinal injury. it's just so sad. she's such a young woman, and any mom would struggle emotionally and mentally knowing that their child may possibly have a handicap. i'm glad she's handling it very maturely. she went about everything the right way. she is trying to brave but the poor girl is still a child raising two children and she can't handle the pain this is causing her. i'm so glad to see that corey is stepping up and wanting to resolve their petty issues to make things better for their kids.... this is why i'm rooting for leah all the way.
chelsea's decision to bring adam back in her life is foolish, just foolish. that girl needs some self esteem!!! she's beautiful and has so much potential and she's wasting it on a guy who proclaims that he's "changed". it doesn't sound believable.
kailyn... what is she thinking? she is being so disrespectful dating another guy while she's living with joe(her ex) and his family. it doesn't seem like the right thing for her to do. she can't handle her business and she should not be jumping into another relationship just because she's upset that her and joe broke up. she really needs a dose of humility. she has had such a great support system since moving in with joe and his family does so much to help her and it's like she's stabbing them in the back. it's unfortunate and i thought this girl would do the right thing and honestly, she's acting like her mother.
jenelle- the girl is a drug abusing loser. she proclaims she "loves" jace, she proclaims "how she never goes out". the girl doesn't get how much goes into being a mom(let alone a good mom). she physically assulted her mother, verbally abuses her only support system and acts like it's owed and justified. i wish i could whoop that girls ass. that's what she really needs. she needs someone to beat her down and maybe she won't buck up and act like that. i'm looking forward to barbara taking custody of jace. it's the best thing for that little guy. i hope jenelle can get help for her actions and attitude but she seriously needs someone really shaking her up to get the severity of her actions.
i hope y'all are just as excited as i am to be watching this season(especially joanna and sarah)!!!
mmmmmmm... the jamie mcmuffin(granted it's not unique or special) but super tasty and i thought i'd share my recipe.
jamie mcmuffin
honey wheat english muffin
american cheese
baby spinach
mustard
honey ham
egg
toast the muffin, fry your egg(i usually fry it over hard or will scramble it), add the cheese and about 5-8 leaves of spinach, add one slice of ham and then i smear mustard on the muffin, smush together and enjoy with chips or fruit.
a friend of mine went to jail today and i was trying to figure out a way to help out and while i was on my phone, my son, daylee went to his room and got his piggy bank, brought it to my room and dumped every penny, dime, nickle and quarter on my bed and he said, "mommy, is this enough to get $%&*^%& out of jail?" i was floored by his reaction. what 3 year old does that? he cared more about my friend than he did about his little savings(which he totally loves). i couldn't believe that he would want to give everything he had to save my friend.
what really gets to me is that lately i've been thinking that i'm failing my son in so many ways and here it just shows me that i've been teaching him generosity and how to help others. he didn't just get that from watching a movie but from seeing me(or others that are close to us) give help to others that need it.
i'm so proud to be a mother and it's moments like those that make all the fussing and fighting worth it. if i teach him one thing- it is to help those that are in need.
tonight was a reminder of how much i have to be thankful for and how a preschool kid can give freely, without question and how much more we can do for those in need.
finally. thank the Lord above. daylee has had a better weekend. he hasn't been quite as argumentative, he's been listening and hasn't had any major melt downs. thank you to those of you who were praying for us.
daylee did complain of a headache and i gave him motrin and it definitely seemed to help relax him, so i plan on setting up an appointment for him on tuesday.
please keep him in your prayers.
okay, so as many of you know... teen mom, 16 and pregnant and teen mom 2 are one of my guilty pleasures... no, my crack. i must admit, last season's 16 and pregnant wasn't my favorite(and to boot, i hear that girls are purposely getting pregnant to audition for the show) made it much less appealing, plus, the girls were so... indifferent. indifferent towards their mates, their kids, their situations and it was aggravating.
but i was really excited to watch teen mom season 2. after all, season 1 of teen mom was gritty and explosive.
joanna and i often talk about our favorites and our most disliked teen moms. out of season one, my favorite teen mom/couple was catelynn and tyler. they made the right choice for them and their baby. they ended up choosing wonderful adoptive parents for their baby girl(which doesn't always happen). i just think with all their struggles(having absent/drug addicted/alcoholic/ locked up parents), they wanted to better their lives and grow as teems and people and then take care of business. i'm just proud of them for overcoming so much and being so grown up about things when they could have chosen otherwise and been in a very difficult situation.
i also liked maci, but not as much as i liked catelynn. i had no connection, sympathy/empathy for amber or farrah. i thought farrah was a spoiled brat. i get that she misses her ex and father of her baby, but instead of leaning on those who love her the most, she chose to push them out, act out and just make wrong choices and then when she needed her parents she chose to let them back in. i also think she was a irresponsible mother... she left her baby in the hallway when she moved into her apartment!!! and amber, oh, amber. first off, she looked drugged up in every episode and her violent, explosive temper towards gary was probably only a glimpse of her violence towards her child. she was sleeping while her child was awake screaming. her home was filthy and disgusting. her poor daughter looked like a rag-a-muffin in almost all the episodes. ugh, moms like that should have their kids taken away. i just can't believe their are people in this world who pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to try to get pregnant and then there are shit moms like her who just keep popping kids out. it's sad and disgraceful.
OKAY, on to the next season... teen mom 2. starring: leah, chelsea, kailyn and jenelle.
here we go...
WOW. it was an intense first episode(full of heart break and drama). from the first time i was leah's 16 and pregnant i had mixed feelings about her being immature and for her cheating on corey. corey was doing all he could to provide for her and his two babies. you could see the love he had for leah and how she treated him was so shameful, but after the 16 and pregnant reunion, you could see that she knew how far she'd taken it and how she was sincere and wanted him back. then, she eacame my favorite(of the teen moms). i was super excited to see she had made the cut because i see that she isn't stupid and that she's a teen and she realized what she had done to ruin her and corey's relationship. i saw the clip where her and corey got married and oohhh, i'm just so happy for them and i hope their baby is okay.
chelsea is my next favorite(joanna's favorite of the season) and i can why. she has a huge support system and really good friends and parents, but the girl has no self worth or self esteem. she takes adam back in one of the clips that have aired and i was appalled. how could such a bright, beautiful girl take back such a piece of trash who did'nt even want his baby. in 16 and pregnant he abused her emotionally and verbally and then called their baby "a mistake". he is the worst father and shouldn't even have the right to see that precious little girl. chelsea's dad tries so hard to help his daughter with her self esteem and chelsea's so worried she'll end up alone, that she takes that fool back. ugh, girls that can't see their worth really anger me. it doesn't matter how many times you tell them how amazing they are, they don't believe it but you gotta let them figure out for themselves and then they can start to change their lives.
i really liked kailyn. i felt so bad for her having such a flaky mom but was so happy that joe's parents had stepped in and treated her like a family member. they let her move in, they supported her through so much and helped her and joe work on their issues as a couple. in this season, joe breaks up with kailyn for being ungrateful and miles on his car and feeling unappreciated. i'm sure there was more that we didn't see/don't know about. i feel bad for kailyn, she must feel like she's stuck or in limbo. her mom is still flaky and unreliable, so she moves into joe's parents basement(which must be awkward) but then she goes and starts dating her co-worker and that just doesn't sit well with me. if she wants to move on with her life, fine but don't do it while living at your ex boyfriend's house. it's not right!!!
and now, the season 2's version of amber: jenelle.
ugh, jenelle. i didn't like her in 16 and pregnant. i didn't like anything about this girl. she treats her mom and her mom's boyfriend like trash. she ignores her kid and all she does is party. i actually read something that said she advocates smoking weed while your pregnant and that she did during her entire pregnancy. what a great mom. throughout 16 and pregnant and teen mom2, jenelle has acted like she's a great mom, that she does all this work to care for her little guy and in reality, she did nothing except go out and leave jace with her mom. her mom made so many valid points but jenelle was either too stupid or high to understand what her mom was saying. and in this last episode, jenelle pushes her mom. that kind of behavior should never be tolerated. i can't imagine what would happen to me if i hit/pushed my mom or grandma. i would hope that someone would take me down for doing something like that. jenelle adds nothing to the season expect for ratings for her outlandish, wild behavior. she is a horrible mom and i'm glad to see that barbara is taking legal action to raise jace. jenelle obviously isn't capable, nor does she want the job of being a good mother and parent. you know, it's sad that jenelle and barbara can't handle things like adults because poor baby, jace is sitting on the floor hearing all of this and it's not fair to him at all.
so those are my thoughts on 16 and pregnant and teen mom. if you watch, please let me know who your favorite/least favoirte girls are and why!!!
i'm writing this specific blog to seek advice from more experienced mothers than i...
lately, i've had issues with my 3 year old son and this past week has been extremely difficult.
over our christmas vacation we went to see d's dad and his father called me some not so pleasant names and did some not so nice things and since returning home, well, things have been trying.
my son has been punching me in my face, calling me names like, "bitch", "fat" and "piggy" and they really hurt my feelings, but more than that, i'm angry because my preschooler should not be saying anything like that nor hitting. well, if that wasn't enough, he's not listening to me and he's frequently, whiny and uncontrollable. i've tried spankings, time outs, taking things away and threatening and nothing, i mean, nothing is working... i know, the part i play and i take full responsility for not having my son in line but i don't know where to start. i don't know if it's an emotional battle or just his age or if he's having problems with his emotions( when my son was born he had a seizure and almost died at 2 weeks old, after many tests including ct scan and an mri we discovered that he had multiple cysts in his frontal lobe but we were told not to worry about them unless he started to have behavioral problems and headaches). well, for the past couple of days, he's been complaining that his head hurts...
i plan on setting up an appointment with his specialist as soon as possible, but i don't know what to do to get his temper under control and not go insane myself.
any help you mothers can give me would be greatly appreciated... prayers are also asked during this time. thank you.
okay, so here are four of my guiltless pleasures i thought i'd go ahead and share with you. mind you, i get that these can and probably are... HAZARDOUS TO MY HEALTH, but i'm a big girl willing to take the risk.
first, i posted keeping up with the kardashians. years ago when they came out in a big way i was so against three beautiful, rich sisters running around la doing whatever they like but here in the last 6months i have literally watched all the episodes of keeping up with the kardashians and knloe and kourtney take miami seasons 1 and 2. so, naturally, i'm super excited about kourtney and kim take nyc!!!
second, i posted my dirty little habit... okay... horribly dirty habit... smoking. i love cigarettes. they are my best friend and probably what is going to kill me, but i know that i have to be ready to quit and right now, i can be honest with myself and others and say that i am not ready to give up my "precious".
third, i posted teen mom season 2. i loved season1. i loved getting my sister addicted to teen mom. we have something to talk about almost all the time. discussing the good moms from the bad ones, the pretty normal girls to the bat shit crazy ones and it's just fun. besides all that, i had my first born son as a teen and i feel like i can really relate in many ways.
the fourth thing i posted was a can of coke.... i am a junkie. i am addicted, no i mainline soda. day in and day out. i never touch water unless i'm super thirsty. i think i probably drink at a minimum 4-5 cokes a day and at the most, maybe, 12. i know what you're thinking... gross, but i beg to differ. coke, is like a smoke... my bff.
so, now you know some of my guiltless pleasures.
i really like sharing recipes. i truly enjoy cooking(not baking so much because as we all know, baking is a science and cooking can be tampered with), but here is a recipe for a fun, light, easy dessert that i make when going to bible study or just as a quick treat at home.
whip cream pie
* depending on how many pies you want to make*
small container of cool whip(1 pie) or large container(for 2 pies)
1-2 raspberry or strawberry jell-o packets
frozen berries(i always choose mixed berries- the kind with strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, ect., but you could use any kind of berries or fruit you like.
1/4- 1/2 cup sugar
frozen pie crust(1 or two depending on the amount you want to make)
first i take the frozen pie shells and poke holes in the bottom with a fork and bake for 12 mins(or however long the directions say)
then you let the shells cool
next i nuke the berries on auto defrost until soft, then i place them in a bowl and add sugar(since the berries you buy are unsweetened and will be very tart, you can add as much sugar or as little sugar depending on your taste buds)
after i mix the berries and sugar i get a large bowl and add my cool whip and pour in the berries and mix all together
after that i pour the mixture into the cool pie shells and set in fridge to set up.
my son, daylee loves, loves, loves this dessert and he always wants to "help" me in the kitchen and this is something he can do without much help... it is just a bunch of mixing and stirring.
i hope you enjoy this recipe as much as we do!
so, tonight for dinner i made my yummy nachos and i'd like to share the recipe(if anyone is interested)...
nachos
1 lb ground beef(93-96% lean)
1/2 cup green sliced onions
1 cup shredded cheddar
sour cream
1/2 can chili beans
tortilla chips
2 packets taco seasoning
first i brown the beef and then i add both packets of seasoning and set aside
next i plate everyone's chips on their plates(or bowls), add cheese to chips, then i take a spoon and drop ground beef onto the plate and then i top with some chili beans and finally i top with green onions and serve with a side of sour cream to dip the loaded tortilla chips with.
i've found that everyone in my house loves them and they are so quick and easy(and cheap) to make.
enjoy!!!
so, about two years ago i worked at the world famous corvette diner. i have to say they had a lot of very unique menu options(i.e. the dee dee burger which has bacon and peanut butter on it). yes, i said bacon and peanut butter, but while i was working there i fell in love with two items. the spicy fried pickles and the popeye salad. well, i've since stolen their recipe for the popeye salad and would like to share it with you...
popeye salad
fresh bagged spinach(baby or otherwise)
sliced carrots(1/8 cup depnding on how much salad you prepare)
thinly sliced red onion(1/8 cup depending on how much you prepare maybe more or less)
sliced white mushrooms(1/4 cup depending again on your salad size)
1/2 cup mozzarella cheese
1/4 cup bacon pieces(either cook and crumble your own or buy real bacon pieces)
red wine vinaigrette(toss the salad with the vinaigrette, adding as much or as little as you like)
*i tend to add a little more bacon and cheese when i make my bowl, but that's up to you.
i hope you try this recipe out because it is seriously tasty!!
rings. watches. scarves. bracelets...okay, so another flaw of mine is not being much of an "add- on" type of girl, but i must admit here in the past year or so, i have some trusted pieces that i wear all the time and some that i wish i had.with that being said, let me show you what i wear and what i want!!!
these are my trusted pieces of jewelry. the ones i wear quite often(if not every day). i'd like to share with you exactly what they are and why i choose to wear them.the first one on my list is my big butterfly ring(this a stock image that i stole). my ring is a fairly large bronze butterfly that i love wearing just for the fun of it. i have always, always been obsessed with butterflies and it just makes me happy.
the second one you see is a pandora charm bracelet. they are amazingly fun to create(if you have the money since each charm ranges from 25-700 dollars). i was lucky enough to receive one as a gift by my son's grandparents and they put a charm for each of my boys and a spacer on it for me and then for holidays and birthdays they've been adding charms and it's filling up quite quickly. although, to be honest, i wish they would have let me pick out my charms since we have very different tastes in everything, but still, it was very thoughtful and generous of them to get me something so unique.
last, i have a spider necklace(and i must say mine is way better than the one you see. my spider necklace is encrusted the whole way, through and through with 1/4 carat black diamonds and 1/4 white diamonds and way more unique looking than said piece from stock image). i sound like i'm bragging(and i am to a certain extent). i love, love, love this necklace, but sadly, i have broken two different chains wearing it and one broke tonight, so i retired spidey until i can find a good, strong chain to hold my "bling". i get so many compliments on how beautiful and strange this piece is and i think it just fits my personality. it also means a lot to me because it came from a former friend of mine. i think we would still be friends, but i had to break ties due to him being an addict and a dealer, but i wear it and it reminds me that maybe one day, like me, he'll find strength to turn his life around.
so, there you have my staples, and now, for the fun of it i'll show you 3 of the things i'd like to own or would like to currently wear.
so, these are my top 3 want/wish i wore.
first, is a stock image of a watch, but sadly, it's the closest looking one to the watch i really want. the one i'm drooling over is a sailor jerry original watch which goes for a whopping 85.00 and is way, way out of my range(maybe for my 30th birthday, anyone?!? hint, hint, nudge, nudge). i just love the brown leather and the simplicity of it, yet it looks classy and is so my style and i would wear the shit outta that watch.
second, i posted a scarf. i wish i wore a scarf more often. they come in so many different styles and colors and there are so many different ways to wear them. they can go with dresses or jeans and tees and they are so cool, but i always forget to don one when i'm leaving my house. oh, well. maybe i should leave myself a reminder by the door. i have this really cute piano design scarf and it's super funky and i really like it but once again, i forget to wear it.
and last, i have posted a pandora ring from their ring upon ring collection. i'm not the kind of girl who wears rings. my fingers are slightly chubby and i always have unpolished nails, so i don't bother, but these rings are so classy and simple that i'm sure i would wear it all the time.
so, there you have my 3 things for the week. i had so much fun playing again and i look forward to seeing what joanna and sarah have posted for their 3 things.
i have been attending amarillo south church now for about 5 months. i absolutely love calling amarillo south my church home.
i guess for me to blog about church and my relationship with Christ is a huge deal.
i grew up going to church with my grandma and i was a christian... and then at 15, my good friend and son of the pastor died and it was so sad and i was angry and bitter at myself and at the world, but mostly with God(because i was raised to believe our God is loving and i couldn't understand why he would take someone so innocent). after that, i quit attending church, i never flat out said i didn't believe in God but i didn't act like a christian at all. i did drugs, drank, hung out with the wrong people, didn't go to church at all and i lived a hedonistic lifestyle. i was self-pleasing and wrong.
fast forward to 6 months ago....
i had this over-whelming feeling and all these thoughts that my life wasn't working and that i was miserable because i didn't have a Christ- centered life. i kept hearing things and feeling things. well, one saturday night i flipped through the phone pick and randomly picked a church, well, after going one sunday to this church i could tell that it wasn't the right fit for me. two weeks later(another saturday night) i was sitting at my computer and i remembered attending this church down the street for a funeral and i remembered at the time of the funeral that the sermon was perfect and that if i ever decided to go back to church i'd definitely try this church. so, while at my computer i looked up their website and saw their mission statement, " SEEKING THE LOST, SERVING THE LEAST"... i browsed their children's ministries and really liked what i saw. so the following morning we went and it has been a huge blessing to once again call myself a christian(something i don't take lightly), to show my son about Jesus and His word and to belong to such an incredible church family. over the past few months i have joined a life group and i think of them as my second family. they are people cut from the same cloth. a few of them are former drug users and alcohoilcs, they have children and they turned their lives around... just like me.
i thank the Lord every day for my new life and i look back on my life a few years ago and i'm even more thankful that God spared my life and gave me a second chance.
okay, so i know (and possibly) you know that i have been blessed by God with two incredible little boys. seth aaron is my oldest. he is 10 years old and so handsome and smart. the boy never ceases to amaze me!! and daylee james is my wee little man. daylee will be turning four here soon and the boy is full of energy, so quick witted and he just makes my day.
i love my two little boys very, very much, but guess what?! i wish i had one baby girl, but then i think, "man, i can't do hair, or nails, or anything girl- related." and then i'm not so bummed that i had two boys who won't care about fashion or the latest trends in makeup and shoes and i relish at the idea of little drama with boys, but still, i must say that i love, love, love having two nieces.
i love telling lily about different times when she was a baby and how i loved on her, bought her princess toys and cute little outfits and even now, i love taking her from my sister and doing aunt mimi/lily things(like snuggling up, watching scooby doo, eating junk food and letting her stay up way beyond her bedtime). what are mimi's for, if not to spoil their nieces?!? sadly, i got to spend a huge amount of quality time with lily before i moved from arizona and it literally breaks my little black heart not to get the same mimi/margot time that i had with bean. i blubbered like a baby when i kissed miss margot on her sweet little head the night before i left town. i know i'll be seeing her again soon, but by then she might be sitting up, rolling around on her play mat and doing all sorts of "grown up" stuff. i keep thinking about different ways to take quick trips back to phoenix just to see her so i won't miss her growing up so quickly. i just want to be able to have the same connection with margot that i have with miss lily. i want to be able to steal both my nieces from my sister, let them eat junk food, stay up late, go to movies and spoil them rotten(even when i know my sister may get a little upset with me), but they're only little once and knowing that i won't have anymore kids, so girls of my own are out of the question, i have to soak up all the princess i can with my two very, very special nieces.
i kinda wanted to use my blog as a panel to discuss some of the more pressing issues that face our lives at the moment. the main issues as of late is dealing with daylee's dad and grandparents. i have tried to discuss hurt feelings and different subjects and it just doesn't seem to work.
maybe i'm acting childish, or not saying or doing the right thing, but all this conflict is taking its toll.
my son, daylee has a cousin, natalya and although she is my niece by marriage i do not feel the same for her as i do for my blood nieces(lily and margot). now, i'm not saying i don't like her or that i don't care about her... it's just that i don't have the same feelings for her as i do for my own flesh and blood. i think this really bothers daylee's grandparents, and if that's how they feel fine. they are entitled to feel that way.
the real problem is how they treat both their grandchildren. favoring natalya over daylee. now i know my son is at an age where he's demanding and inquisitive about everything, he'll drive ya nuts, but that doesn't mean that he should be treated differently by said grandparents, or come to me, his mother, and say things like, "talya is mimi and pop's favorite." "mimi and pop's loves talya more."
no one has ever repeated those kind of things or hinted towards those feelings, but it breaks my heart to hear those words uttered from the mouth of a very observant three year old. i have tried to address this with daylee's dad and to no avail. he thinks i'm lying about what daylee said. i wish it were true. i wish it was a lie that i had made up. it would make it easier to deal with. i'd be a liar and they'd love d just as much as natalya, but that's not the case.
i've tried not to let this affect the relationship i have with daylee's mimi and pop, but when they don't want to see daylee or spend any time with him but they take natalya for weeks at a time, well, it stings...
as daylee's mom i want to protect him from hurt feelings and feeling unwanted in anyway but i'm not going to be less of a person and keep him from them because that's not right either.
what's a mom to do?
the end of a year and the start of a new one...
i spent new year's eve with my grandparents and all three of the kids(seth, daylee and my niece, lily). i've never been one to want to go out and drink and get wild on new year's eve. the thought of getting a d.u.i or worse is just not worth a night of having fun. although, in some weird way, i believe that whoever you choose to spend new year's eve with with effect your life(good or bad) for the next year, so why not spend quality time with family? who else should have that kind of hold, right?!?
so, after dealing with a wretched three year old all day, it was nice to push two twin beds together, have all the kids snuggle up and watch old scooby doo episodes, eat snacks and fall asleep before the ball even dropped.
some may say this is lame. i, on the other hand disagree. for years now this has been a semi tradition. sometimes, i have all three kiddos and others i just have seth and daylee. either way, i can't wait for next year and the possibility that i'll not only be watch seth, daylee and lily but miss margot as well.
so, thanks to heppe(and the urging of my sister), i finally, finally have started my very own blog. yay!!! i know y'all are super excited to know exactly what i'm thinking, right?! right. i have no idea what i'll be writing about, but as one of my goals for the new year i decided that blogging seemed to be a good idea. i hope i have more than one follower(joanna) and that i don't bore anyone to death. more to come soon.
j
